Funny Quotes

• "Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!"
funny quote by, Homer J Simpson.

• "When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"
funny quotes, Unknown.

• "He's so optimistic he'd buy a burial suit with two pairs of pants."
funny quote by, Chuck Tanner.

"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle."
funny quotes by, Bob Hope


"A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah."
funny quotes by, Ronald Reagan


"I never think of the future - it comes soon enough."
funny quotes by, Albert Einstein


"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."
funny quotes by, Dean Martin


"If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life."
funny quotes by, Tommy Lasorda


"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."
funny quotes by, Zsa Zsa Gabor


"Ninety percent of the game is half mental."
funny quotes by, Jim Wohford